this post was written on 28/04/06. dun worry, i'm feeling much better now.:)
this week started off really bad.
spraining my ankle (6/7 times and counting...) was literally the first thing i did this week.
i agree with jave, it was kinda loserish/funny. when i train, i run like mad, i sprint like mad, but never once did i so much as twist my ankle. then i go and sprain it chasing a bloody bus.
then, it dint seem so funny anymore. it seemed more like a sign. i know i'm not supposed to believe in this kinda things but i guess it just ruined my mood for the whole week.
humanz interview was just plain screwed. i went in scared, i came out wanting a hug so bad i could have cried. but noone i knew was there, so i just told myself to be strong. you learn to do that really well when u're an only child. u learn to hold urself up and pretend that everything's alright. you feel instantly apologetic if someone starts worrying for you, so you try to hold it all together, all by yourself. when all the time, you're really looking for someone who can see beyond that, someone who can tell you that it's alright to break down in front of them, that they'll willingly take some of those weight off your shoulders.
i wanted a sincere hug so badly yesterday and noone was there to give it.
sometimes i wish i had a sibling. i just dont want to be so singular.
i'm not the attention seeking kind. so i would rather plaster on a smile and tell you i'm alright, i dont need help, i can manage. i guess you can call me independent. which i am. to a certain extent. but i can only take so much. a human being is not meant to be a lone creatue anyway.
dear god, please constantly remind me that you are my pillar of strength, that i can turn to you at all times, so that i can continue to be the strong person i'm expected to be. let me never forget that your love is enough.
go to, then; your considerate stone.
10:19 PM
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